-mE-

2008-09-17T12:57:00.004+08:00

Jie Yi says hello from Hong Kong where the pollution has been really bad for the past week.

I am so relieved that it rained today, somewhat like a passing shower.

Anyway, I realised that when you're staying alone, you would tend to be preoccupied with thoughts about food. You'll wonder what to have for breakfast, lunch and maybe prep a little dinner for yourself. The food outside does make you feel sick if you eat it all the time.

Perhaps I'll head over to Causeway Bay or Stanley for some shopping this weekend if the pollution is good. I was choking on sulphur dioxide and god-knows-what-in-the-air last weekend during Mid-Autumn festival.

Ps: 家好月圓is quite an interesting show!

2008-08-14T17:22:00.003+08:00

Oh my god! I'm so in love with him. I think I'm turning into a gymnastic freak soon. Today's men's artistic gymnastic finals was awfully fantastic, with twists and turns like roller coaster ride.

Although I know Yang Wei won, but I think this guy over here, Kohei Uchimura deserves a slap on the back too! By the way, he’s only 19 years of age, a great star to catch in the gymnastic world. I love his high bar and floor routine. He’s made such a great comeback after sitting on the pommel horse twice. His fighting spirit and composure is awfully inspiring and he looks so 可愛い~

Can't wait to catch the women's individual all-round tomorrow. Do hope that Shawn Johnson would get it. She's such an explosive gymnast.

2008-08-05T23:03:00.005+08:00

After a long lapse, I've decided to start blogging about Gion Matsuri (祇園祭)

Basically, it's a huge agricultural festival celebrated yearly in Kyoto and ranks as one of Japan's top three must-see festivals. I had to take a look at it myself and it was certainly an eyeopener.

The summer weather in Japan was BLISTERING which accounts for the azzure blue sky that makes the pictures look way too perfect.

The Matsuri spans over a month, and the peak of the festival was during the mid of July on the 17th. During that day, there were gigantic floats that paraded around the busiest streets of Kyoto all manually pulled by men (species and sex).

As you can see, the floats are a few stories high and made entirely out of wood. The structure looks damn solid and is simply lashed together with ropes only. (WHAT!)
And people from all walks of life, which includes the young, the hippies and the old are all eligible to be part of the parade. Not to mention the cute policeman who was dutifully stopping lunatics from being part of it.
But personally, the best part of the whole festival was definitely the night before, also known as the Yukata Night. Yukata, as you can see from the pictures, is the traditional Japanese summer costume that many would don on that night, coupled with thick makeup and wonderful hairstyles.

With everyone looking dainty and pretty, the streets are lined up with food and games stalls that suit the likes and palates of all of us! My sister and I were dying to try everything that we could see there. The mood was so crazy. We ate, drank beer and tried to squeeze our way through the few hundreds and thousands of people. I was in a massive party mood!!!!!!!! Wish I was back there!

So much for matsuri glee! Till the next time, I'll fill in more about food, scrum-delicious Japanese food!

2008-07-08T00:12:00.006+08:00

It was aeon ago since I last blogged and I do know that. Well, this holidays has really been a real holiday for me and I've been doing a lot of ad hoc jobs here and there. Quoted directly from my sister, I'm working towards my 20 thousand dollar a month goal as a tution teacher. So life has been tution, tution and more tution.

But I've did some baking and here are my proud pieces, * Wide smile (: which includes:

1. Cookie dogs 2. Banana muffins 3. Oreo Butter cake, which kind of failed, but looked nice
I guess everyday has been learn a korean word a day.

To Sybil if you're reading this: I'm going to speak Korean to you soon. Wait for me!

2008-05-28T22:37:00.003+08:00

Due to my current unemployed status, I've been pretty much free and have started on a book by Freud. Although his writing can get rather technical and dry, his analysis of human behaviour is intriguing and I would say accurate. Decided to grab a few quotes off his book, some would agree with him about it. Human relationships as a whole can really be a messy and difficult. Sweet but bitter.

Take the way people in general behave towards one another emotionally. According to Schopenhauer's allegory of the hedgehogs seeking warmth, no one can bear the intimacy of too close contact with another human being......

On the evidence of psychoanalysis, almost every close emotional relationship of any duration between two people includes a sediment of negative, hostile emotions that escapes perception only because repressed. It is less veiled when partners quarrel, or when subordinates grumble about their superiors... Closely related peoples feel a mutual revulsion, Englishmen constantly insult Scots, the Spaniard despises the Portuguese. That greater differences result in virtually unbridgeable aversions has ceased to surprise us.

In the unveiled emergence of aversions to and revulsions against close others we recognise the expression of a self-love, a narcissism.....unmistakably, however, such human behaviour implies a readiness to hate, an aggressiveness whose roots are unknown and that one would be inclined to characterize as elemental.

Self-love fins bounds only in love of others, love of objects.... in the development of mankind as a whole, only love has had effect as a civilizing factor in the sense of a turning away from egoism towards altruism. And that applies both to sexual love of a woman, with all the compulsions that flow from it in terms of apring what the woman loved, and to that desexualized, sublimated homosexual love of the other man, which has to do with working together.

If you can get the essence of what Freud and I'm driving at, you'll know what I mean.

2008-05-23T12:23:00.002+08:00

'But you know, my dear,' said Poirot gently, 'people are never like what you remember them. You make them, as the years go by, more and more the way you wish them to be, and as you think you remember them. If you want to remember them as agreeable and gay and handsome, you make them far more so than they actually were.' -- Hercule Poirot, Third Girl

Yeah, I kinda agree with that. Sometimes, we remember people as who they USED to be and not who they are right now. Memories stay with us, while everything else changes.

2008-05-22T10:45:00.006+08:00

MAN YOO WON!

It was a heart-stopping moment when hero Ronaldo had to stop for a moment only to hit Cech's hand during the penalty shoot-out. At that moment, from hero, he became zero. I was thinking,"How could he ever miss that shot? All was lost!" And as you know, the old adage goes, "The ball is always round". JT missed his shot too! Honestly speaking, I love JT. Personally, I've ranked him to be top 3 most cute looking footballers. (Okay, I don't need comments about who's TRULY cute looking) I could see the devastated look he had in his eyes, crest-fallen and upset. It kinda broke my heart a little, but from then on, I knew Man Yoo's going to take the cup!Man of the match: Nemanja Vidic. Yes, it's him! He was absolutely a terror at the backline. He closes in on his opponents, leaving them with little space to shoot, not to mention to breathe. Clearing balls at every opportunity, he thoroughly worked himself out and contributed much to the tight fortress held at the backline.

Not to mention Giggs and Scholes who definitely have repaid the trust good old Fergie and United fans have given them all these years. LOVE THEM!

MAN YOO DEVILS - DOUBLE TROUBLE!

2008-05-15T12:41:00.002+08:00

Les miserables!

I'm currently doing an internship at (*))&^**( some place (not to convenient to reveal) and it's totally not what I'm expecting, very unfortunately.

I loathe working at Tanjong Pagar for one because it's just like a horrifying concrete jungle with automatons all dressed up in suits and smart pants. For all the glitz and glamour that this place is supposed to be endowed with, it is very much an impersonal spot to be in. The buildings surely look tall and magnificent, sometimes so tall that it's totally impossible for me to even identify which is what. But underneath the facade, people just slog in little enclosed office space, behind their desktop (just like me right now!) in a continuous monotonous rhythm.

The journey back to the heartlands has never been this relaxing. From fast paced modernity to leisurely walking across the void decks, a stark contrast and a moment of returning back to humanity.

I can't bear to relish the thought of working here for the next ten years of my life. Seriously, maybe I'll consider working as a fruit seller in the neighbourhood market.

2008-04-09T23:51:00.004+08:00

Recently I enjoy doses of nice lectures and speeches very much. I have just heard another highly inspirational lecture given by a Carnegie Mellon University's Computer Science lecturer Randy Pausch. Although watching his lecture took me more than an hour, but it was all worth it. In fact, I was ironically crying when I was hearing his witty and funny lecture.

Pausch has only another 3-6 months to live because he is down with pancreatic cancer, 10 tumours and counting in his liver. He had to undergo chemotherapy and other painful treatment, but his perspective towards life and dreams are amazing. His most popular speech, "The Last Lecture" reminds us to live our childhood dreams and many theories about life from the perspective of a dying man.

Pausch said that, "If you live life the right way, the karma will take care of it." And I thought back of all the rat race that everyone is facing in university and I was like, "Wow, this sounds like purely common sense, but nonsensical at the same time!" This amazing guy said many other things that allows you at living life and how you would want to remember it when you are at your deathbed.

For those who are interested, this is his personal website if you want to find out more about him:
http://www.randypausch.com
For those who want to read a better coverage of this wonderful man, I have got the link to the IHT reporters who gave him reviews that are better than mine:
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/04/08/arts/The-Last-Lecture.php?page=2

2008-03-30T22:35:00.003+08:00

My siblings gave me my first 20th birthday present and it turned out to be Barack Obama's autobiography The Audacity of Hope ! My whole family knows I'm an Obama girl, supporting him all the way till he becomes the 44th President of America!!!!

I can't get to lay my hands on the book, but I've got to finish my project. With the big fat 20 looming in the background, it feels like the start of a new leg in life.

More running to do. Pants..

On politics and race

2008-03-21T23:33:00.004+08:00

It is time to digress away from all the personal thoughts that I had expressed previously and into an area of interest for me - politics.

I had just heard and read one of the best speeches, I could claim, in the 21st century. Illinois senator Barack Obama's latest speech has been absolutely inspiring for me. It was in Philadelphia that he gave his speech in response to the recent controversy about his former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Reverend Wright had incited racial/hate remarks during his sermons that threatens Obama's campaign.

In his speech, Obama addresses racial issues, something that many politicians would avoid, because it is tricky. And it is because of its trickiness that makes me want to applaud his courage and strength in attempting to tackle this seemingly insurmountable task. America is a nation that is deeply racist, divided and diverse, but there are people like Obama who want to heal such divisions. Beyond economic problems, foreign relations, health care and employment, there is a political candidate in our modern times who is acknowledging the deep racial divide half way through his political campaign.

He did not blame his pastor nor bigoted whites. He did not blame Americans for their institutionalizing discrimination against the Blacks. It was not a blame game as many politicians are always playing. He knows the problem, and expresses his desire to heal the rift, the deep gap in between your race and my race, between us and them, because of his love for his country. He is asking Americans to stand up and face this endemic problem that has never left the country. His speech is timeless, just like JFK and Martin Luther King. And my favourite sentence from him:

It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

Asian countries should take a leaf out of American's book. For us, race is also a problem plaguing the region. Just to quote a few examples: Indonesian Chinese are not allowed to register their own surnames in their official identity cards, the Muslims in Southern Thailand are institutionally discriminated and many more.

And from myself to Singapore: If race is a very important issue in Singapore, and must be dealt with care and sensitivity, all the more that it should be discussed openly and freely. If engaging in racial topics are only appropriate when the government permits, we are not inevitably not going to progress towards a truly harmonious society. Personally, I have never understood why are we divided along the lines of CIMO (Chinese-Indian-Malay-Others). So who are the OTHERS? Do we want to be a divisive society that emphasizes on our racial differences, or do we want to work towards a united Singapore society. If the government is unwilling to be more open about racial topics, deeming it as something taboo, the division will run deep and ultimately cause fractions in our country. (Ops, I don't really know if this is considered racist, because I do not want to be convicted as the next 'racists blogger' under the seditious act. If anyone thinks this is, please warn me! But this is definitely my own personal reflection)

Obama is truly very very inspirational. He is my hero.

2008-03-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

I think I such a fool!!!!!

Why waste the money to apply for that!!!!

Jie Yi is such a silly silly silly donkey!!!

I know that I will regret what I am doing right now, to plunge money down this abyss.

But I am more afraid of regretting the fact that I did not try hard enough.

Oh my gosh, I am in such a contradictory position. SEE JIE YI, that is all that you are going to waste your time and effort on. NO MORE THAN THIS LIMIT. IT'S TOO MUCH.

2008-03-19T12:32:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you know that it is wrong for you to continue on taking this path. Yes, you know that it is WRONG to sink you money in something that has extremely low returns and probably would fail. I am such a stubborn girl, refusing to stop trying. Trying is really tough, especially when you try really hard but end up with nothing. I know I need to pull the hand brakes, but only after this try. Just let me be willful and a money waster this time.

Just one more time.

2008-03-12T23:04:00.001+08:00

Hello everybody,

Please ignore what I had been saying for the past few months.

It was all a farce.

In fact just some nonsense that I had sprouted to lie everyone.

WHAM

2008-03-07T00:09:00.004+08:00

I feel really good right now because I think I do need some encouragements.

Zinzan® says:
i hope and i want u to go to UNC
Zinzan® says:
u will show me around and bring me to a basketball game will u?
jie[cherrios] - best bet: UNC. says:
definitely!!!!

And to Choy!
And to Mr Kwa too!

There are so many possibilities out there. Maybe a lot of times, it is just how much we really want to make things happen.

Restarting

2008-02-27T23:16:00.006+08:00

I know that if I'm going to continue surviving in NUS, I would definitely need to push up those terrible CAPs of my. To hit my ideal target, a 4.5 is needed this semester. But that's like OH-MY-GOD, I NEED TO WORK MY ASS OFF!

Dear me: Reality check tells if you want to end up clinching the better programmes, that is your only route.

It's high time that I should start ditching some of my work and work on those books.

-Push the Restart button and off we go! Wheeeee -

2008-02-26T23:35:00.005+08:00

The past few days had been an emotional roller coaster for me. It was like my thoughts are preoccupied with the same issue, and they filled up every single moment of my time. It moved around in swirls and circles, like mini tornadoes going on in my head.

Would any fool want to be saddled with a $0.25million dollar debt on your education?
I am that fool.

Somehow, after just ranting it out to poor Steven, my thoughts became clear. And a day spent in the library provided me some practical notions of the costs and fees. My cost analysis was pretty much straightened out. I kinda feel vindicated to a certain extent.

Come April and the moment of truth would be out. Bracing myself for another rolling and coasting about.

2008-02-24T14:04:00.003+08:00

Holy moley crap. It's a terribly uneven path ahead that makes it so difficult to move.

UCB has now officially classified me as a transfer student which equates to lesser chances of qualifying! I'm trying hard to rectify my status back as freshmen, but only if they'll agree to it. This is so difficult.

Chee told me this that we spend half of our lives waiting for something, something that's worth spending the other half of our lives on. And I hope that it'll be coming soon.

HOLY MOLEY.

2008-02-17T00:19:00.002+08:00

Another one left from Terminal One, Row Five. Hope all three of them would have a pleasant experience over there and all the best to them.

I miss Rae and her good food outlets. Her encouragements and her silly smile
I would miss Ah Tan quite a bit for the Chicken Rice and Ben & Jerry's.

I hate sending people off because it makes me think of myself.

I was just telling Wee today that the feeling of running away is building up inside me. Wee said that wishes would come true if we wished hard and long enough. If what she says contains some truth, then maybe mine would be realized soon.

2008-02-14T20:53:00.004+08:00

I had to mess it all up. The chance that was thrown to me.

Perhaps it is signaling to me that I'm not cut to write for the big papers.

Why do I have to screw this big one up?

Maybe it's not time for me to go there.

Maybe it's telling me that it's time to stop dreaming.

I need Rae. I need to tell her this, to tell her how disappointed I am, to tell her that I've momentarily lost my courage.

2008-02-13T22:56:00.004+08:00

I feel a little lost.

Maybe a little scared that tomorrow's results will not turn out good enough, especially for the writing section.

I am scared that the limited places would be allocated to someone else.

I am quite afraid to be disappointed.

So I hope that it would all turn out fine.

Haven't had to mood to study much and I screwed up test number 1 of the year.

Great.

Lost in the city.

Thank you tinywingz although I know she doesn't have my blog address.
Thank you for making my Uni days seem better.

1984

2008-01-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody,

If you've been keeping tabs on the US Presidential Election 2008, you must have known that Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton are currently tied at 2 a-piece.

But from a very personal stand, I'm rooting for Obama. Not only because he's of mixed blood but also for his efforts to push voters to cast their votes beyond racial lines. Race, how long have we as human beings been harping about race. The Apartheid, Martin Luther King, the Jews(maybe debatable whether are they a race) and a long list that goes on.

Quoted from Barack Obama:
"I am absolutely convinced that White, Black, Asian, Latino, people want to move beyond our divisions, and people want to join together in order to create a movement of change in this country"

And I truly believe in this. I do.

I found this clip on YouTube and it is titled Hilary '1984'. It's as meaningful as a political cartoon!

O-BA-MA! WE WANT CHANGE!

2008-01-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

I've noticed the lack of posts recently, actually for close to a month because I've been caught up in a flurry of activities that drains the soul out of me.

For the past few weeks, I had been spending time with people who either came back from abroad or are going to leave soon. On one hand, I've just felt that age is catching with all of us (the big TWENTY!) and that all of us are heading in all directions. Probably, the next time I'll meet them again is in another few months time, a stark difference when meeting them used to be a daily affair

On the other hand, it makes me wonder what will happen in a few months time.

Fly me on your planeSometimes, looking at the pictures of your favourite player make you feel safe. I love Steve Nash. There isn't any particular reason for it. You know it when you like a person. It's the aura. (:

Drug intoxicating

2007-12-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

Today, a report that shocked the baseball sporting world - the Mitchell Report is released. The Mitchell Report is an investigation that is conducted over 20months. The result was stunning, devastating, tarnishing the image of sport itself.

Probably to Singaporeans, baseball might seem like an obscure sport, an exclusively American sports just like NFL. Yet all sports are battling the similar problem that the baseball commission is doing right now - against the usage of doping drugs. It is like deja vu of another Marion Jones incident. The Mitchell Report reveals current and former baseball players, many names are big shots, MVPs, All-Star candidates, Cy Young winners who are involved in consuming performance enhancing drugs.

It is appalling when you stare at the list of players named in the Mitchell Report. Those who ought to be in the Hall of Fame are now relegated to the Hall of Shame. Roger Clemens, deemed to be the best pitcher ever in baseball history; Barry Bonds, Home Run king tops the long list of players. Their mind-blowing performance, record breaking achievements were merely acts of falsity, it was all a facade. Drugs made them super-humans who could attain better results.

Not too sound like an angsty fan, but it is maddening to know that the baseball hero that you've admired and in awe of is no more than a drug addict who needs human growth hormones to sustain his career. Barry Bonds with 762 Home Runs is MLB's record holder but it was widely believed that he had a massive drug regime that sustained his remarkable batting performance. Photographs and archive shots of Barry Bonds when he started off his career and now are starkly different. The circumference of his head expanded at an astonishing rate, his entire body build swelled to beyond normal sizes. Physical facts and evidences have already pointed not in favour of him. Yet Bonds refusal to admit to his doping acts in face of federal charges against him is what makes me disappointed and angry.

The Mitchell Report listed at least one name associated with all 30 baseball teams, is top-heavy with players from the New York Yankees(Equivalent to the Chelsea of football. Owners who are rich and winning to splash out billions on players pay but are perennially underperforming) and the New York Mets, almost amounting to a performance-enhancement Subway Series.

Fans love the sport. We all love baseball. But the image of baseball is now all in shambles and it takes more than just lip-service from the commission to rebuild our confidence in the sport. The next time before I purchase my MLB jersey, I would want to take a look at who's name is printed on it. I'll think twice about Bonds or Clemens.

2007-12-06T00:06:00.000+08:00

Seriously when I thought the worse was over, reality has to just come down upon me once more.

I am not asking for too much money. But give me just enough, enough for the next few years.

On a happier note, I've ended my exams (:

More sports for me tomorrow. I'm just afraid I'll forget all the stuff I need to know for work. RVO-VT, xRVO-CG come back to me....

There

2007-11-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'm going to make it there. I'm going to make it there. I'm going to make it there.

Faltering and stumbling along the way.

But the directional sign points there.

So, I'm going there.

Linguistics

2007-11-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

Grabbed this off a book review that my Philosophy professor wanted us to comment about.

It's real funny stuff for those who've wondered quite a bit about the linguistics behind how we use certain words in real life.

The Stuff of Thought, by Steve Pinker, review by Colin McGinn.

1. In the early part of the twentieth century the following names were reserved primarily for men: Beverly, Dana, Evelyn, Gail, Leslie, Meredith, Robin, and Shirley. But not much emerges about why names change as they do, besides some platitudes about the need for elites to stand out by adopting fashions different from the common herd.

2. I very much enjoyed the chapter on obscenity, which asks the difficult question of how words deemed taboo differ from their inoffensive syn-onyms (e.g., shit and feces). It can't obviously be the referent of the term, since that is the same, and it isn't merely that the taboo words are more accurately descriptive (excre-ment is equally accurate, but it isn't taboo). Pinker reports, no doubt correctly, that swearing forces the hearer to entertain thoughts he'd rather not, but that too fails to distinguish taboo words from their nontaboo synonyms. The phenomenon is especially puzzling when we note that words can vary over time in their taboo value: damn used to be unutterable in polite society, while cunt was once quite inoffensive (Pinker reports a fifteenth-century medical textbook that reads "in women the neck of the bladder is short, and is made fast to the cunt").

3. Of particular interest to the grammarian is the fact that in English all the impolite words for the sexual act are transitive verbs, while all the polite forms involve intransitive verbs: fuck, screw, hump, shag, bang versus have sex, make love, sleep together, go to bed, copulate. As Pinker astutely observes, the transitive sexual verbs, like other verbs in English, bluntly connote the nature of the motion involved in the reported action with an agent and a receiver of that motion, whereas the intransitive forms are discreetly silent about exactly how the engaged objects move in space. The physical forcefulness of the act is thus underlined in the transitive forms but not in the intransitive ones. None of this explains why some verbs for intercourse are offensive while others are not, but it's surely significant that different physical images are conjured up by the different sexual locutions—with fuck semantically and syntactically like stab and have sex like have lunch.

the unopened letter

2007-10-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

I've just opened the letter that I've written to myself 2 years ago when I was in Sri Lanka.

Reading the contents inside made me feel nostalgic. Perhaps I am unable to remember the little details of what happened, but it was the feeling that was the most important thing that I would always recall.

It was a simple life that we could all appreciate.
The constant smiles on everyone's face.
The togetherness of everyone living under the same roof.
Communication that was not interrupted by phone devices.
No worries, no fret.

And best of all, looking forward to every other day.

I love you guys. Ten years. Till then.

- WAN JIE: I've received your letter!!!! Will reply ASAP!

EXHAUSTION

2007-10-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

I am working really very hard.

So hard
So hard
So hard

So please, make it happen, at least let me leave. PLEASE.

In the mood for festivities

2007-09-28T17:26:00.001+08:00

Yup, these kids were celebrating the Lantern festival at the void deck with candles and sparklers which got me reminiscing a little. Have yet to even eat any mooncakes -.-
I happened to walk past Kampong Glam the other day and it was turned out to be crowded at night since the muslims were breaking fast then. It was such a pretty scene, buzzing with activities and all the flashing colourful lights. The best part? The Ramandan buffet!!!
I'm in my Meredith Grey mood - again:
"There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully."
- And I'm absolutely not ready to commit-

2007-09-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

I had this weird recurring dream for the last 2 days. I swear that it's only my dream and nothing political about this.

It's about a dystopic Singapore society where a social heirarchy system was formed based on one's math and science results. Families with kids that were maths prodigies or reknowned scientist at home were at the top of the pyramid. Those who screw their numbers up, had no Einstein brains were relegated to the bottom.

I was like this onlooker, viewing the entire society via a little boy and his family. The little boy was constantly mocked and jeered by his classmates, whilst his family suffered humiliation because his maths was so bad in school.

It felt like a caste system and it's freaky I think. They were simply outcasts of the society.

And it was one hell of a weird dream I admit.

- But maybe, I need this change. A drastic change that sets me away from the past 19 years of my life. -

2007-09-15T07:21:00.000+08:00

Meredith: I don't know what to say to you.

Izzie: When Dylan died and when the bomb went off did you feel like… you were moving in slow motion?

Meredith: He was there and then he wasn't ...like I blinked and he was gone.

Izzie: I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast... and I just want to go back to when things were normal, when I wasn't poor Izzie laying on the bathroom floor in her prom dress with her dead fiancée. But I am. So I can't. Am. I'm just stuck. And there's all this pressure cause everyone's hovering around waiting for me to do something or say something or flip out or yell or cry some more. And I'm happy to play my part. I'm happy to say the lines and do whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing if it would make everyone feel more comfortable. But I don't... I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be this person. I don't know who this person is.

"For even the strongest of us, time seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering, until it freezes. Leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other."

I am stuck somewhere.

2007-09-14T00:33:00.001+08:00

If there's a way for me to run out of everything, if I can just stop and leave, I would.

If money isn't a matter, I would simply run and go.

When I saw her leave, half of me left with her.

Body without soul. Maybe maybe.

2007-09-13T15:28:00.000+08:00

Music: 好心分手 by Candy Lo and Wang Lee Hon

Reminds me very much of Wan Jie and Nanyang. The very first month when I was there, this song was always be in her MP3.

It's stuck inside my head.

Reminisence

2007-09-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

Li Huan and I met after a long long long time and as usual, we talked about anything under the sun. From her NUH trips to Jessie to Nadiah and lah lah lah.

But the BIGGEST surprise out of the whole trip:

TA DA !!!! DEAR TK GIRLS,WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW THEM??

In case for those who's forgotten, Madam Hassan who's closest to me. The history buff? The one who always tries to defy and deny her real age?

Mrs Manmohan in front of her. Mrs Manmohan my dears, have you forgotten about her? The one who teaches HOME ECONS??? I remember Shanti's always mentioning about her. Mrs Manmohan vs Mrs Sin, who would you choose?

Mrs Koh-Lee, the Geog, Lit cum English teacher.

And our beloved Mdm Chee standing right in front of Li Huan. The communist Mdm Chee!!!!

Well, apparently, the bunch of girls were there to meet up with Mrs Manmohan, who left for Aussie when we were in Sec 2 and Mrs Koh-Lee who's posted to MOE.

It was really really funny when I told Mdm Hassan that I'm taking history in NUS right now and I commented that Prof. Lockheart's a real cool dude. She was like yeah, he's a guy who likes to discuss about blah blah blah...

Then I went about saying that I'm also taking Philosophy and Prof. Holbo too was awesome. Then Mdm Hassan was like ...... errr..... I responded by saying Prof. Holbo has been teaching at NUS for the past 10 years and Mdm Hassan pinched me because I've kindly forgotten that she's left NUS for MORE THAN 10 YEARS. OPS~

The good old TK days (:

2007-09-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

She's going and I am sad.

I'm still trying to search for something that is worth keeping me going. COME ON!!!

2007-08-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

Thank goodness that NUS doesn't comprises of students that have the same mentality as I do.

Otherwise, no one would have supported the various events that they're running.

Down in the dumps.

Sometimes, you just have to pretend that being alone is okay.

Maybe, maybe it's the clothes we wear,
The tasteless bracelets and the dye in our hair,
Maybe it's our kookiness,
Or maybe, maybe it's our nowhere towns,
Our nothing places and our cellophane sounds,
Maybe it's our looseness,

But we're trash, you and me,
We're the litter on the breeze,
We're the lovers on the streets,
Just trash, me and you,
It's in everything we do,
It's in everything we do...

Maybe, maybe it's the things we say,
The words we've heard and the music we play,
Maybe it's our cheapness,
Or maybe, maybe it's the times we've had,
The lazy days and the crazes and the fads,
Maybe it's our sweetness,

But we're trash, you and me,
We're the litter on the breeze,
We're the lovers on the street,
Just trash, me and you,
It's in everything we do,
It's in everything we do...

2007-08-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

Week one in school:
Day 1: Get-back-to-reality
Day 2: Meet your OLD friends day
Day 3: Meet MORE old friends day
Day 4: School-less --> Get to work day
Day 5: Exhaustion day. (from the long-distance traveling)

School life = Queues (for everything and anything, ranging from buses to food purchasing) + bureaucratic processes.

As I was telling someone on MSN, I'm on the verge of suffering from crowd phobia. There's simply an explosion of people all around. But the irony out of the whole thing is that despite all the hustle and bustle, I am spending more time alone than ever.

-Crowd phobia-

Cave woman

2007-08-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

School's starting next week and cave woman over here just realized that only just last Saturday. -.-
Yes, I'm officially CAVE WOMAN, oblivious to many things ongoing in school! ~.~

Anyway, I've just came back from Taiwan last week. Had really great fun there and I guess it's somewhat a good way to start school, all charged up and refreshed. (:The sunrise at Alishan was really a magnificent sight. The first rays of sunrise. It was bitter cold up there(ard 10degrees and below) even though it's summer time.We stayed over at this countryside place that looks like a scene out of those Taiwanese drama. (:At Chia-yi's railway station. (((((:

Hopefully school will be good for me. Looking forward to my next holiday trip!

Jerseys

2007-07-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

I was just browsing through the home pages of the various Premiership big teams when I've spotted something really really disgusting.

We all know that the new Barclays Premier League season is approaching. Teams have busily gearing up by changing their home and away jerseys. And it is always not for the better.

Indeed jerseys ain't exactly the biggest problem, since we're supposed to be watching the game. But isn't it just as important for the players to don jerseys that are pleasent to the eyes?

Á brief preview of the big 4 BPL team new kits! Cheerios~

Manchester United:

The Red Devils are with a new Home Kit. Red for the players and blue for the goalie. Looks pretty much more casual than the previous jersey. And yes, Rooney's no longer number 8. He's officially a ten-er.

Chelsea:

The Blues retained their Home kit, but just look at their new Away kit. A horrific luminious yellow!!!!

I can't imagine my Terry wearing this bright yellow thing, strutting around the entire field! It's a terrible terrible mismatch. Do recall their 06/07 Away kit. It's much much better than this piece of *&^(*^$%&. They ought to be known as the Yellows instead. -.-

Arsenal:

My favourite bit over here... This is the Gunners new Home kit and it's a refreshing new change. I love their new design to bits. But...I don't seem to be able to imagine how will the new Arsenal team play together this season. Everybody seems to have left. It feels just like an empty nutshell somehow.

The Gunners new third set of Jersey. Don't you think that it's kind of Gryffindor inspired?

Liverpool:

Some changes to the stripes(now that it curls across the chest) but little revolutionary changes to their jersey. (It's still red at home, white away, and black for their 3rd jersey).

But it's more money flaunting antics by their new rich Yankees bosses. Apparently, the Reds are going to build a state-of-the-art stadium by 2010 as promised by George Gillett and Tommy Hicks. And well, bucks splashed on strickers like Fernando Torres who scored only 15 goals last season for Atletico Madrid.

Nonetheless, it won't hurt to take another quick look at their Away jersey, worn by none other than XABI!!!!

I'll be back tomorrow with more football-ing news(: *That's the problem with being too free*

work (2)

2007-07-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

My last day in office and I took this photo in the studio.

A flood of emotions inside. Just find it hard to put it into words.

It has only dawned upon me, on the very last day of work that I am moving on to my next phase in life.

Back to school dudes.

Work Part I

2007-07-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

It's almost going to be the last day of work. I will miss them. Like all of them very very much.

For those who are quite interested to find out what in the world I've been doing and MIA-ing for the last 6 months or so, here goes:

(1) Shoots
We were at the Guiness 9 ball tour last weekend. We did a shoot there, just like those that you see on TV, except that this was for real. It was fun, but somehow a drag. It was more of a waiting game.

I'm seriously full of admiration for these reporters. They are able to ask constructive questions almost instantaneously, with little glitches and stammering.

(2) PA-ing

My fellow PA cum presenter: Debbie!!!! Love her to bits(: Yup, so for us, we mainly help to cut simple stuff and basically do everything else our producers ask as to.
(3) Makan
My office people LOVES eating. We'll have supper almost every night and that's when we'll bitch. The picture was taken at our favourite steamboat place at Chinatown. The Ma La hotpot there is really good! Hot but it doesn't kill your tastebuds. Yummy~

I'm going to take more pictures with them next week (:

addiction

2007-07-14T23:04:00.001+08:00

It's impossible to kick the addiction.

It's just growing on me.

It's growing bigger and stronger.

[[Did You Know]] - I bet you never knew.

The King

2007-07-09T01:15:00.000+08:00

FEDERER'S WON IT AGAIN!

His 5th straight Wimbledon title!!!

Tell me how am I suppose to stop loving him(:

2007-07-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

jie[cherrios] - tennis perfecto says:
anyway, do you feel that sometimes you are missing out on things that are going on your friends lives?
[xxx] says:
u cant be part of everyone
[xxx] says:
n everything
[xxx] says:
u choose who u be part of
[xxx] says:
n so do others

I'm sad.

2007-07-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

Tada... I was at today's friendly match between Singapore and Australia which also happens to be the closing ceremony for the Kallang Stadium. Well, I had free tickets to the event so I might as well be there.

My fondest memory of the National Stadium had to be during Primary 5. All P5 kids had free tickets to watch the NDP preview show. The stadium looked really grand at that point, somewhat like the Colossus.
Match wise the Socceroos were obviously way better than the part-timers cum old Singapore players. It was pretty one-sided, though good effort by the Lions.

But it was a pretty grand sight at the stadium. Tons of red and white shirt Singaporeans and you'll be amazed at the number of Aussies in Singapore too!

Interestingly, there was this bunch of Ah Bengs sitting right in front of us that made tons of "commentaries" throughout the whole match. One of which went like this:

Commentator: The Australia team is replacing XXX with Harry Kewell.

Ah Beng: Liverpool assholes! *points to Man U logo on T-shirt* Man U all the way!!!!!!

Sometimes, I do suspect that these Ah Beng's are too obsessed with Winning Eleven. But in reality, you can't control the players on the field!!!
Yup, I'm sorry that this post is a little 'football-lish' but it was great fun watching live matches in reality[:

2007-06-30T00:07:00.000+08:00

Leaving is often the hardest thing to say when you are holding something really close to your heart.

I'm so sad to leave. I hate leaving. I hate it.

[addiction: Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance]

Somebody...please help me kick my addiction.

2007-06-06T01:26:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you aspire to do more than your what you can do. But it's just not possible because it's not what you are supposed to do. Damn it.

Anyway, I went to the zoo the other day!!!! Just a group picture here. Heh, it's been a bloody long time since I last went there. Had a really fantastic day there hanging out with this bunch of dudes. (:

I love the zoo!!!

I met up with Li Huan the other day, and I realised it's been a gazillion years since I saw any of the TK girls.

Missing out on all those TK days where we sat together in class, at the den, in the canteen, during classes...

I miss you girls all of a sudden.

Simple

2007-06-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

The other day, I had this REALLY weird feeling.

I had a quick and simple lunch with 2 of them just below my office.

It was just pouring heavily outside.

The only thing that we did was to talk crap, complain and munch on our food.

But I felt very satisfied. It just felt like that's all I need to feel happy.

I had the great urge to hug them but I didn't.

The whole feeling was just inside me. It was just a really weird feeling.

I am such a simple person with simple needs.

Confused

2007-05-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm certainly not looking forward to moving on to the next stage of my education.

University? So many decisions to make, so many new stuff to pick up, so many things to think about.

I prefer my life now. Simple and at least doing something I'm passionate about.

Which makes things rather ironic, because as far as I'm aware of, most people are looking forward to going back to school!

Wish time would come to a stand still.

Is anybody considering hostel life at NUS? Make an indication which hall you are staying!!!!

AVIVA OPEN

2007-05-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

Okay people, I am so hyped up about this. If you don't happen to know who won this year's Singapore Open aka Aviva Open, it's Boonsak Ponsana.

He's a Thai guy who came into this competition unseeded, won top seed Lin Dan and reached the final to thrash third seed Chen Yu. He's the champion this year!!!!!

And so, guess who's the guy beside me? HEH HEH HEH, yes, it's HIM!!!!!

He is such a cute guy, who is so shy. When the a small portion of the press was literally bombarding him with rather stupid and unprofessional questions, he answered patiently.

When we asked him to help us recite some lines for the programme in English and Thai, he kept apologizing to us for his poor command of English. He was like blushing big time! So cute of him though it is terribly different from his on court smashing performance.

Had a fabulous time at the Aviva Open today.

Boonsak Ponsana ALL THE WAY FOR INDONESIA OPEN!!!!

*:) gushes: By the way, did I mention that Boonsak's also studying for his masters in Law too?

Champions League

2007-05-03T04:29:00.000+08:00

I'm bloody sad Man Yoo's going.. going.. gone..GONE from the Champions League!

Ruined in the hands of AC Milan.

It's true that Man Yoo's performance was atrocious this morning. They are just unable to break through Milan's bunch of Italian defenders. This wall of steel is so typical of Italian's defense that brought them the 2006 World Cup trophy.

Liverpool is going to cross sword with AC Milan again. Isn't it deja vu, but Liverpool's not going to be this lucky as compared to 2 years ago. Penalty shootout again? I doubt so. I will root for AC for the Champions League champions. Liverpool look way too unsteady to unsettle AC Milan.

So it's going to be showdown for Man Yoo and Chelsea at the FA Cup final. Plus we are currently leading the Premiership board FIVE whole points ahead of the Blues! More football action tomorrow at work! (:

2007-05-03T03:55:00.001+08:00

My heart is with Man Yoo, but my mind is with the AC Milan.

Tell me what are Man Yoo players doing??

Feel like smacking the slack make-shift defense, but thank goodness Vidic was there with the ever alert Van der Sar.

Seriously saying, I love the Italian and Brazilian players in Milan especially their performances during the World Cup. Pirlo, Kaka, Cafu, Gattuso... I mean they are such lovely players with wonderful skills. Seamless defense put up by Gattuso and gang and the hardworking Kaka in the thick of all Milan's action.

What in the world is Man Yoo doing? Michael Carrick? Come on, he ought to be substituted, he's like*#%$^%. Ronaldo at the left wing with the bulldog Gattuso? OH man, he ought to switch Giggs!!! Where's Rooney? MOOOOOOOO.....

COME ON MAN YOO!!!!!!!

I'm still anticipating an all-English showdown with Pool at Athens!!!!

2007-05-02T12:10:00.000+08:00

LIVERPOOL'S GOING TO ATHENS!!!!!!

Yes, I know I'm not a huge Reds fan but I would prefer my Man. Yoo to take on the Reds than Mourinho and gang. POOOOOOLLLLLL!!!

I truly do love Kaka, but I hope tonight's match, MAN YOO WILL TRIUMPH!!!!

I bet it'll be a Manchester United, Liverpool showdown. He he..

Random post with some shots that I've took in my phone:

Some of them my colleagues, some are friends who I've not spoken to for a pretty long time.

Hello people!!!!

Have receive only one uni application confirmation. Waiting for some more to reply....

Anyway, I met Yu Xiang and gang the other day. It was such a pleasant shock and I had a good laugh at their bo-takness. Heh Heh Heh(:

ANNOUNCEMENT

2007-04-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

To my dear friends who sent me birthday wishes:

I am dearly sorry that I appear not to reply because I was at Shanghai on my birthday!!!! Upon my return, I was unable to receive those messages for it was automatically deleted by my phone. So I don't really know who sent me or not.

Nonetheless, thank you you all once again! MUACKS (:

~Thank you Simeng for your listening to me today. He he

Whirlpool

2007-04-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, you get lost in your own world as you watch people go by.

Yet at times, when you get sucked back to reality, you realised that things and people have moved on that you long longer could catch up with them.

Wait for me.

Back from MIA

2007-04-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know I've been MIA-ing for a really long time. OPs ~ Wanted to blog for many times, but couldn't find the right words to piece the various things that I want to say.

I've just returned from Shanghai!!! It was a pretty nice place in the sense that if you minus the dirty toilets and money minded Chinese, yes, China's can be a lovely place.
We took this at Suzhou and that's a Sakura tree behind us!! The weather there was amazingly cooling, fluctuating between 5 to 20 degrees. And the "small" pond that you see below was merely the backyard of an ancient super rich guy who had no where to spend his money on.
Moreover, the natural scenery in China was fantastic! The lake coupled with some willow trees and cherry blossoms will form the picturesque photo that you see below. Disclaimer: I did not use photoshop to do any editing!
But I guess the best part was the myriad of colours that we saw as flowers were just beginning to blossom....
I would say I was just glad to leave Singapore for a while to take a breather, have a look at life outside home, experience the beauty of spring. Mum and I did tons of shopping, and ate like at least 50 xiao long bao-s *slurps* !!!!!

But for this month, after taking a 11 day leave, I'm like so much poorer! I hope that I'm taking paid leave though. *crosses finger*

~ Wish list: A device to connect me automatically to everyone whom I wanna talk to.

2007-03-16T13:11:00.000+08:00

"I hate being a grownup. It's like you're sitting on a carousel, and you just can't get out of it."
I just feel screwed up at times I guess.

Sometimes, you tread so precariously in the path that you have chosen to take because you hesitate. But hesitation can be dearly costly too.

2007-02-05T10:33:00.000+08:00

I hate myself for being so late yesterday. Couldn't believe that I was so bloody late. Thank goodness I caught her last glimpse and a big hug before she left the Singapore soil. Couldn't say anything more to her because I was choking on my tears and kind of lost for words.

Sigh, I'll miss her terribly.

2007-01-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

I was watching Maria Sharaprova playing her first match of the year with Camille Pin this morning since 8am. The match lasted for a freaking 2h 15mins and having to crawl out of bed at 4am in the morning, waiting for the results of this game was seriously a pain.

Yet I truly impressed by her endurance and determination. In fact, the entire game was actually Sharaprova vs Sharaprova herself. Considering the fact that she was from Siberia, Russia, having to battle the sweltering heat of 35degrees was too much to ask from her. She looked just like a lobster at the end of the game. But one has to admit that psychologically, she's way strong.

Sometimes in life, it's hard to be just like her, pressing your way through the entire course having to battle mind games with yourself.

In football, you talk a lot about teamwork, collaboration and unity.
In tennis, it's more about you outwinning, outlasting and outdoing your opponents. It's more handling and assessing the situation yourself.

That's just the beauty of sports. [:

PS: Oh boy, I'm glad that the Suns won their 10th consecutive game today. Stupid Stoudemire, ought to have given Nash a chance to score more points.

2007-01-14T14:17:00.000+08:00

My computer has been down for ages and I mean ages.

January has arrived and it feels like many people are actually leaving Singapore soon. I hate this feeling of sending them off, and many are leaving permanently- for good. I'm damn touched that you actually bothered to tell this old friend of yours that you're going. Thank you my dear although that I hate knowing that you're leaving.

Work's good I must say although I'm allocated to some un-earthly timing but I guess I get to spend more time with my colleagues. They have been really really really nice people, though I do hate this new guy at work particularly.

A glimpse at the papers these days question Bush for his stance with regards to Iraq. The democrats blasted him for his irrationale act to increase the troops there. But I'm honestly with Bush. I mean just take US preventing Iraq with their sectarian conflict to turn into another Afghan.

Blood Diamonds is a bloody good movie besides the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio is a wonderful actor, the plot's touching and it's basically a blast. Watch it if you do have the time! (:

~It's only when we part do we realise the need to cherish what we had and not have.

2006-12-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

(Extremely) Random thoughts for the day:

My life has been revolving around :
(i) soccer
and (ii) NBA
It's quite fun I must say but it feels as if I'm detached away from the real world.
Somehow, I'm just losing contact with my friends and it feels like they're slipping away.

To you: Sorry that I have not sent you the letter that I've promised. Actually, I've written one to you, but - it was never sent out.

To another: The lost letter was never sent back to me!!!!!!

On a lighter note: I've received my cherries from Hong Kong!!!!!!!

Poor MS, I think that Liverpool has been extremely unlikely to meet such a tough opponent. Steven Gerrad probably wouldn't get to play for long in the Champs League.

Go MAN U!!!!!

2006-12-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, I'm so jealous that Daphne's at Hong Kong right now enjoying herself. I have told her a gazillion times before she leaves Singapore to get me some cherries from there. Hopefully she will remember her poor friend here who is suffering from post-cherries depression.

A random shot of her and me at the tution centre:
Hope that all goes well tomorrow!!! (: It will be a long long day for me~

** Mr Chan, I am looking forward to my Sun biscuits from you!

2006-12-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

And so, I was tired of working and I took a break today. The best part of the day was when I bought cherries to eat!!!!!!! Goodness me, I was at NTUC and I saw that the cherries cost $6.95 for a punnet! I almost screamed out for joy!!!! WEEEEEE... and so I happily satisfied my craving!

I guess this is just one way to relinquish those days back in HK. Listening to canto song we all loved, because I guess I am feeling the same way as how the title of the song reflects right now.

And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance -
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.

The painting is called The Lady of Shalott completed in 1880. It's a part of the story from the King Arthur series and Lady Shalott led a confined life behind the mirror until she meets Sir Lancelot. And so she ignored the curse by leaving the tower, ignoring the curse upon her and sat on this boat to take a look at the outside world. Well, the forbidden fruit always tempts everyone.

But the painting seriously calms me. I don't know why.

Ending on a random note: I love CHERRIES!!!!

2006-12-06T21:40:00.000+08:00

It was ages ago when I last blogged.

Have really been busy at work- typing non-stop for hours. Until recently when I just went on trial for another job which I really really liked, but I guess the final decision whether to employ me lies mainly on the boss.

Working part-time somehow gave me a rough guide of working life in the future and it really made me think deep and hard. It's really tough working and I'm like cherishing every single cent that I'm earning now.

Missing those days spent in Hong Kong with them. The times we walked down the streets rather aimlessly, eating meals as and when we liked, the nights out in the hotel room planning for our next day's itinery. I liked it because it felt as if we depended on each other and no one else, as if the whole world was non-existent except for us. (:

I love CHERRIES!!!!!

2006-11-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

How true of this!

WEEEEE!!!!

2006-11-20T15:48:00.000+08:00

Hey ho! I'm at Hong Kong's shopping mall looking at pretty cheap stuff. There's like Nike, Adidas, Quiksilver storehouses here. I know that some of you all are having exams now, so please don't be too jealous. Quite excited now, because we've just taken the Ngoh Ping 360 cable car. The view was breath taking!!!! Think we're going shopping later at Mong Kok. My legs will soon give way. Oh man....

Currahee

2006-10-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

If someone were to ask me what will be the first thing that I am planning to do after my A levels end, I would reply that I wanna go to Kino, indulge myself in the array of books, in an entirely different realm. I am seriously losing myself studying, driving my soul nuts behind the stashes of notes and TYS.
Nonetheless, I'm watching a really nice show now. It makes me feel overwhelmed with emotions with as you watch scenes of how man languishing in war scenes physically and emotionally. The price that we had paid for the peace we enjoy today. Soldiers were toiling on battle fields, psychologically and permanently scarred for life. Charred grounds, bloodied bodies and blasted feet were common sights. The pain of losing your brother in war and the brotherhood built amongst the soldiers.

I must apologise for those who are simply oestrogen charged, this is not a show for you.

Anyway, I'm feeling like a hermit crab, stuck at home or at BK, so if anyone has some gossip to share, do share with me. *heh heh heh

2006-10-19T23:02:00.000+08:00

I am somehow lost for words to express my emotions. Probably this is not the best day to pour out the pent up feelings in me.
NY brought me tons of tears, sweat and a tinge of joy. It taught me the tough way to get around things.
Maybe after those stormy days, a rainbow lies awaiting

2006-10-06T20:21:00.000+08:00

Was walking along the streets today and emptiness prevailed inside.
Felt like this empty nutshell walking aimlessly.
Without any emotions and souless.
Just the ghost in me dwadling away.

Eyes shrouded by the terrible haze out there that's smoking the entire Singapore. The Indonesians should consider curbing their irresponsible behaviour since this is a perennial problem.

Escapism

2006-10-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

The only thing that I feel like doing now is to pack my bag and fly off now.

Looking forward to the post exam trip very much, very very much.

2015 we'll be back at Polwatta, I wonder how we'll all look like. Maybe things do change and time flies by, but hopefully by then we'll still remember each other and the happy times over there.

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

2006-10-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

The 8 deadly sins of Mankind

1. Lust
2. Gluttony/Indulgence
3. Greed/Avarice
4. Sloth/Laziness
5. Wrath/Anger
6. Envy/Jealousy
7. Pride/Arrogance

According to Wen Jie, the there should be a number 8 sin:
8. Irritation

Heh heh heh, I am extremely prone to that!

Barely there but almost there

2006-09-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

I am tired.

I just need something to lean on now.

A wall perhaps?

Please do not forget us

2006-09-15T21:56:00.000+08:00

Kind of inspired by Tiny's blog entry:

As Singapore hosts the IMF/ World Bank meetings that appears to hog the headlines of the news day after day, and when Taiwanese people are challenging their "people's president", we ought to turn to focus on people around the world. Indeed, it is a me, myself and I mindset that rules right now, but we belong to a race called the Human race. Look beyond yourself and 'feel' for others in our race.

Undernourished children

Displaced children due to Darfur's genocide

If you are wondering where the heck is Darfur or what the hell is happening at Darfur, shame on you. The world's attention are naturally drawn to major incidents like the Tsunami crisis or Hurricane Katrina. Yet the real crisis in reality is in the entire continent of Africa that is perennially suffering from abject poverty and receiving little limelight. Genocides, ethnic cleansing, severe malnutrition and god knows what illnesses are all concentrated in that region.

The world is not reaching its hand out long enough to help Africa. When obese kids spend time in KFC gorging upon drumsticks, some kid out there in Africa is dying of malnutrition. When OSIM decides to lavishly give away eye massaging machines to IMF/ World Bank delegates, another African is struggling to survive.

You may think that I sound like preaching, but this is the truth. Love, just how much humans can shower our love upon others. In reality, no one's really helping them. It feels scary to be left alone, all alone fighting this war all by yourself. My heart bleeds for them just like how I did when I watched Hotel Rwanda.

Visit this website by Bono if you want to know more about fighting poverty: (In any case if you do not not know who Bono is, I have nothing more to say)

http://www.data.org/

More than who I think I am

2006-09-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

We happened to chance upon a shirt that made such a statement : Men are my accessories

As usual, I drew their attention to the shirt and was gloating about the feministic content when Wen Jie commented: " Don't you somewhat realise that this type of shirts are usually designed by women who want to belittle men. It's just wonderous how women actually think."

Deceit and lies. When a friendship is shrouded by layers of mystery and unknown, it remains superficial. Much of the unknown is a result of many lies piled upon each other. If you choose to remain as how it is, your decision is respected.

Yet I believe that friendship is not equivalent to sharing every little secrets that you have with each other. Little acts are often more than enough. You can lie, but there comes a point where the lie needs to be accounted for. Was really touched today when I casually mentioned to someone to lend me a ride on his bike. I thought he was patronizing me when he agreed. Alas, the bike did appear after he went home to retrive it. Though, I had a hell lot of time adjusting to the height of the bike, but somehow, that is what friends are all about. Promises made and fufiled are essential for there to be trust.

Yeap, that just happens to be a declaration of friendship by me.

Nonetheless, tomorrow would be the start of the anti-Ah Bian campaign. I am pretty worried for the Taiwanese. Even if the protestors successfully topples Chen Shui Bian off his post, would an interim government be better off than a corrupted president?

2006-09-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

Pictures uploaded before more protests coming from my class:

A little bit of joy before prelims. My class outing to pizza hut! That day was really fun although we had to wait for quite sometime before we found a seat!NOTE: Look at Su Ngin's finger. Full of attitude. *hehe*

Pei Yee. Me. With Yu Ze's ugly arm behind(:

OUCH!!!!! Poor Sam~

Anyway, I'm still brooding over the question as to whether I'm a cynical person as brought up by Neha and XinYi. I believe I'm not, but everyone says that I am! Isn't that weird? Who you perceive yourself to be, is not who others perceive you to be?

To be or not to be?

2006-08-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

Thank you for messaging to tell me that you wish to fly with me on the plane too [: Heh Heh, you're the only one who would ever respond seriously to stuff on my blog. Thank you dear for making my day! It simply marvels me at how little acts like this can bring about a tremendous amount of joy for others. I should try doing this more often!

On the other note, must confess that I was rather consumed with sadness in the sense that you realise that nothing in this world is forever. Youth is never forever, friends are never forever, lovers are never forever. There is nothing that lasts for an eternity. It makes you feel like cherishing people and events around us much more. Yet the more we struggle to hold on to these memories, you realise that these memories are never forever too.

Time is indeed merciless.

To whoever out there who is reading this: I love you, I love you, I love you. MUACKS

Anyway , do you all still remember the Zany Green Parade. Muahahahhaha!!!! I miss those days terribly. Photos to recollect your memory:

Apollo Queen, the Herme-s Xiu and me and Zesus Leandra!!!! The wonderful float we made in the background.

The 2 pretty angels, Keow and MS!!! (:

[: Those were the days of being frollicking TKGians.
Ling Xiu!!! I just saw this picture we took during Block period I miss you so. Let's go and eat at the Indian restaurant okay? Msg me!
PS: Look at Ah Soh in that *ah-hem pose in the background. Sleeping in action!

2006-08-09T00:21:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Yes, and talking about Singapore, it reminds me of an extremely unpleasant incident last friday that got me mad that I almost feel like pulling off somebody's head.

As we all know, Singaporeans love to quantify. Only after 16 can you watch Saw. Only after 18 can you watch Cold Mountain. Only after 21 can you watch steamy movies and Brokeback Mountain. Other ages below 16, you watch Finding Nemo.

So some ()*)*(_*&(*& organisation informed us that only those who commit themselves to 6h of Eldercare programme will be entitled to be a volunteer. Once again, the spirit of volunteerism and level of morality and conscious in us is being quantified. Doesn't volunteerism imply that it is done on a voluntary basis? That means that so long as I have completed that 6h, I am a saint that helps others?

This is simply a foolish method adopted by the organization. Haven't they realise that volunteerism comes from within the heart? Singaporeans need to realise that not everything in the world can be represented by statistical numbers. We are so obsessed with it that we are unable to appreciate many intangible items like the arts. Probably that is the reason why volunteerism never sparks off a major hoo-ha here.

Bah. And the other idiot who made me went went mad on Fri.

2006-08-04T14:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I simply have the urge to just run away from the current situation.

Sometimes, when things just get unbearable, nothing in the world appeals to me more than fleeing.

According to Rae, her MSN nickname is always fly me on your plane.

Fly me on your plane. [:

2006-07-10T20:02:00.000+08:00

They came, they fought and they conquered.
Finally, they've won it today morning!!!! [:

Well, it was indeed a deserving win from Italy. But if you are going to argue that the Les Blues do not deserve to lose, then I am afraid I am going to disagree with you.

Actually, I was pretty much disgusted that De Rossi was substituting Totti. Lippi should have used Gilardino. He is younger and gives more support for Toni to score upfront. But I was disappointed that Italy underperformed this morning. They were seriously much better against the Germany. At least they seem to have the edge to attack than just defend in huge groups. Thank goodness their defence is indeed a fortress with Cannavaro and Buffon making tons of good tackles and saves.

Devastated looking Barthez with Willy Sagnol

France on the other hand leaves me thinking what was running through Domenech's mind!!!In my opinion, the game simply tilted or probably to say it more cruelly that it ended when:

(i)He substituted Frank Ribery who was so on form and running up and down the flanks like a sprinter! Yet David Trezeguet, a much older player took his place just minutes before penalty shoot out?!

(ii)Henry was being replace by Sylvian Wiltord. Henry was in fact the most explosive player on the field even into extra time. Together with Malouda and Ribery, it provided them with lots of chance to break through the defence. Yet off he goes minutes before penalty shoot out again!

(iii) The great hype and mystery surrounding Zidane's red card sent out of the field. Sigh... for more details just read the newspaper that is giving too much coverage of this.

I personally feel that the person that Domenech ought to take off the field since the second half is Zidane himself. He looks- - - tired. Perhaps too tired for the team's own good.

Nonetheless, French still played fabuolously well. Kudos to Willy Sagnol and Frank Ribery. Goodness me, they can be one of most hardworking left back defenders and right midfielders.
And perhaps you would like to remmeber how did France look like when they won the World Cup in 1998? A stark contrast of this morning's event. Zidane was not even present for the prize presentation. A shame on his illustrious carrer.

Nonetheless Italy won!!!!
To me, the man of the match got to be either Cannavaro with his tacky tackles or Grosso. Well, if you do remember, Grosso's position is a left back defender. Yet look at him, perfectly well versed in penalty taking and defending. Bravo!!!

Oh yes, and I love the moment during the penalty shoot out when Pirlo was hugging Cannavaro. Gosh, I love that the image! If anyone has a snap shot of it, please send it to me!

Heil Italia!!!

2006-07-09T17:10:00.000+08:00

FORZA ITALIA!!!

Tonight will be THE NIGHT for them to show off their powers!! Thank you Zindane for putting up such a amazing show this entire month. But against the Italians, hmmmm, I think they lack the strength to fight all the way. If Francesco Totti would regain his playing streak today, the Italians would have a powerful attacking strength. But most importantly, the hot headed Italians have to control their temper and certainly not place their fingers right on top of the self destruct button.
The 2 main guys upfront, Toni and Totti!!!

So much for Italy. Alright, I will go on gushing about them in tomorrow's entry after they have won the cup.

Anyway, I just went up the I-hate-Cristiano Ronaldo website. It was hilarious!!!! These mad english fans are overly obsessed with hating him. The English team plays so terribly that it is inevitable that they will lose. Feel like telling them to stop being losers and accept that their team is terrible.

Nonetheless, I do think that they have a really good sense of humour. Some of the pictures that they've put up are hilarious.

Hahahahhahaha, for those who don't know much about Cristiano, he is famed for diving on the field and not into the water.Yup, just as the ad goes, more at www.ihateronaldo.com [:

2006-07-08T14:59:00.000+08:00

I know I have been changing my blog's template so often that it can get pretty irritating. But I kind of like this greenish design. Reminds me quite a bit of TK. Oh, by the way, I've gotten rid of the irritating Tag Board and adopted Haloscan instead. My computer never reads Tag Board and I really wonder why.

Anyway, I had this weird dream yesterday. Wan Jie and her appeared, which happens to be a rather odd combination. Could not remember the nitty gritty details then.

And so we had our 4Cs class bbq yesterday. Upon request, I shall put up some of the photos up:

We came...

The self proclaimed "Yan Daos". But I would *ah-hem* beg to differ -.-

Munching
Notice the how disgusting this cartoon is

If you happen to be blind, a zoom in version of the him. SEE!!! Such OBSCENITY!!!

AND...

The dirty old man who was wearing such obscene shirt is too embarrassed to face the world!!!

Off we go*vroom vroom

Hope that my Phillip Lahm will be feeling happier after tonight's match [: ( Points up to picture above: Isn't Manchester United the old fad? Who's talking about them anyway? Hope Lippi doesn't end up there with Fergi)

2006-07-06T14:04:00.000+08:00

This morning's match was a POOH. Full of antics and goofs but nothing really thrilling. Barthez with his weird saves, Ronaldo with his dives and teary eyes blah blah blah. The French won with a penalty kick and the French magician Zidane was simply struggling with his fitness during the second half of the match. Deco was extremely uninspiring, well, at least the diver Ronaldo did attempt some pretty decent shots.

Was wondering this Sunday at Berlin would the French oldies be able to survive the entire match. If the Italians can drag it till the extra time, I believe they will have a pretty good chance to win provided Cannaravo and Co are still up to standard.

Now to the topic, have been pondering about this question for days after watching the movie: DOES THE WORLD NEED A SUPERMAN?

My answer to that would be a YES. I guess human beings are vunerable. We do need someone to turn to and answer our prayers when we are desperate. Superman is rather similar to the existance of god, except that he exists as a human form. The world wants a messiah, which explains for the recent surge in Superhero movies hitting box office records.

Anyway, I prefer the Spiderman movie, he seems to have the more humane touch rather than being so aloof and unique like Superman. Nonetheless, can't wait to catch the Pirates of the Caribean 2!!!! [:

2006-07-05T15:34:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the recent lag in updates due to the busy world cup schedule resulting in numerous sleepless nights[: Anyway, did you all catch the match yesterday? YES, THE ITALIANS HAVE REIGNED!!! Fabulous play by the Azzuris though I have to say that it broke my Lahm's heart. There was a lot of acting, well, the Italians can jolly well play the second fiddle when it comes to bagging the Oscars Award, nonetheless kudos to Marcos Lippi!

Well, before France vs Portugal match today, let's recap of the fabulous goals scored this world cup:Who would ever forget the fabulous goal scored by Maxi Rodriguez during extra time when Argentina scored against Mexico? It was just a perfect goal. * smacks lips

The 24 carat goal by Argentina- again, with a finishing touch by Cambiasso. Ultimate patience I should say.And of course, the 2 heart breakers Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose, the German scoring machines with their telephatic passes and goals(except that it didn't work this morning). Esp Klose's header during the Germany-Argentina match was a real big upset for Argentine fans like me. Ayala's header was great too!!!

We must never forget the oldies from the French team who made a wonderful comeback despite a slow start. Thierry Henry and Zinedine Zidane who have found their golden touch with the round ball. Henry sent the ball volleying past the goal post ended the 5 time samba champions dream. *ouch.
Lastly, I would like to credit England's captain David Beckham for his astounding 30m free kick, a curler that makes him the world's best deadball expert. Yet, it failed to save England from being eliminated. Basically, I am wondering what happened to them??!!! Where's Lampard? Where's Gerrad? Where's England? I wonder...

2006-06-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

For those non soccer fans out there, boo boo because you are missing out on all the hype and talk that is going around the town. In addition, you are also giving up the chance to watch cute players like Kaka and Lahm!!! Oh my gosh, Kaka was simply the MAN OF THE MATCH yesterday. Was cheering my heart out for Brazil yesterday!!!

Am absolutely entralled by the game. At least that compensates for all the mugging in the day(:

2006-05-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

I guess that the most vulnerable moments in life probably should be when you are sick. You just wish that someone would be there to do nothing but to hold on to your hands. Pretty sentimental all of a sudden.

"神崎次郎（木村拓哉）は風の丘ホームを守るために、レース参戦を懇願し."
守る,守る,守る,守る...だれがわたしは守るのだろうか.

A random thought in Jap...

2006-05-07T20:08:00.000+08:00

Ang Mo Kio rally- One of the most interesting banner there held by a very enthusiastic supporter. Sylvia Lim rocks!Serangoon stadium- After the last rally held by WP, there was a huge surge of crowd which exited. The whold stadium was crowded till the extent that people were listening outside the stadium to Mr. Low Thia Khiang.

These 9 days had been a rather busy period for me. Heh heh heh, indeed it is because of the elections itself. I was busily catching up with what the opposition has got to offer and stuff. Although WP did not win this election, but I believe that their main motive this election is to introduce to everyone their candidates for the 2011 elections. Bah.

Anyway, in conclusion, my cousin and I agreed that our media sucked. They're really BIASED.

-Post election syndroms-sobs

General Elections

2006-05-01T11:50:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER/WARNING:
1. To those who are pro-PAP and anti opposition, please DO NOT continue reading on.

2. The views below represent my opinions and not of any other parties.

If you were present at Hougang's Workers' Party rally yesterday, I think you would have suffered from the same shock as I had. The main motive of penning my opinions here is because I was pleasantly surprised that The Straits Times had minimal coverage of yesterday's events. I could confidently say that there were at least 2000 people present fro the rally, and it has cuased much traffic congestion especially near Hougang Central. Towards the end of the rally, the Singapore Police Force even deployed additional manpower, roughly 100 more policemen or so for there were fears that there might be a riot outbreak.

This is a remark to debunk those who still believe that the opposition is relatively weak and non-existant in Singapore. They are a force to be reckoned with. I felt like a sardine packed in the midst of sweaty bodies as I stood listening to the Workers' Party members speeches. The crowd applaudedand cheered consistently throughout the 2 and a half hour rally. In addition, the policies as mentioned in their manifesto were being brought up with much gutso. These policies sound economically and socially feasible, for example, they were campaigning to abolish the 5% GST rates on medical bills and hospitalization fees.

As I tried my best to tip-toe, I could barely see the faces of the WP members, because there were simply too many people in front of me. People would unanimously chant out " WP! WP!" and there would be whistles and horns blaring away. Although this sounds rather dramatic and is pretty similar to the tricks pulled during Taiwan's campaigns. Yet I must confess that this is the first time that I have ever felt for the need to have an opposition party represented in the parliament. They provide a different voice and serves as a check to the ruling party. The opposition is no longer just a bunch of people who dislike the governement, and is opposising fo rthe sake of opposing. They are people who can come up with solutions for some of our problems.

To those who are speculating if Mr Low Thia Khiang would continue his mandate in Hougang: My guess is that he should be able to, given the vast amount of support rendered yesterday. Residents were peering from nearby HDB flats at every level, people were continuously streaming in from all corners of Singapore (and that includes me!) to listen to what they have fot to offer.

WP candidates have proven to be of calibre, speaking fluently in various dialects, Mandarin, English and Malay with conviction of their mission. At least, they aim to provide a more wholesome programme that meets the basic physical needs of Singaporeans, but also to root Singaporeans back to our countryland. They offer more than just lift upgrading and covered pathways incentives, but also greater social cum community involvement in elderly programmes and more medical benefits.

Well, before I become too much of a bias source, I have to make this clear that I do not favourWP over PAP. But if you were to read The Straits Times daily, there are always numerous reports of PAP's every rally covered in great details. Yet, only a few columns are allocated fro the opposition party. Well, hopefully this will propvide a greater insight to Singapore's General Elections! (:

2006-04-22T00:37:00.000+08:00

Life can be pretty much of a monotonous routine that goes around spiralling in a circle. Sometimes, I find that I do not even know where did I started off, with what purpose in mind. Just running along, huff puff huff puff mindlessly.

2006-04-09T19:56:00.000+08:00

I think I look horrible in the picture. Nonetheless,they rock.

Thank you OCIP team for celebrating my birthday on Saturday!!! Can't believe that Choy can bake such a yummy cake. It is beyond my imagination.

Anyway, for the past 2 days was so tiring. The OCIP team has decided to start paving a pathway that connects the main block to the parade square. We had to move those heavy slabs of stone, dig the yucky mucky ground using a mini chang-ko, shove and push those slabs into the holes. I am like aching in every part of my body. Imagine having to squat, dig, shovel for the last 16-18 hours. Oh man, I feel like a 60 year old granny. Especially today, there was only the 4 of us there(as seen from the picture above) and our dear Mr Tan was like slacking away, leaving Rae and me to do those crap all by ourselves. Argggg... But overall, the entire thing was really an enjoyable event. At least Mr Tan felt guilt and have decided to treat us to Sushi Tei(:

Love you guys to bits, esp Rae... Muacks!!

-Life is just like a cup of tea, the more water you add into it, the blander it gets. And I think life happens to be at this stage now. -

2006-04-03T16:44:00.000+08:00

Yay,I have finally decided to change my template to something that is neither white nor black. Ain't this template rather cheerful?

Thank you for those who sent me the SMSes! Muacks!

To Yong Qing, thank you for your concern. Was so shocked when Wan Ling told me about wanting to pass me those stuff. Heh heh heh.

2006-03-31T19:29:00.000+08:00

Random thought:

"The world's greatest lie is that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate."

" People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them."- Paulo Coelho

To my dear friends out there, follow your heart because it tells you where your destiny is.

2006-03-27T20:36:00.000+08:00

I am hooked onto my DVDs. The worst thing is that freaking Maths tutor of mine has to stress everyone out. She was ranting away about retaining us and stuff. RArrrrrr.... I know I did poorly for Maths this time. My excuse was that I am in no mood to study. The real reason was also that I am in no mood to study. Half way through my junior college life, I suddenly felt scared and alone, fearing the unknown and ironically trying to predict the unpredictable. Prolly it is time to find the strength for me to continue on.

Seriously saying, I like watching these korean drama at times. The lead actress in the show despite facing numerous and a never ending list of troubles in her life. Yet the lead actor always stood by her regardless of the situation, giving her his undying support. Too bad this does not reflect reality. In reality, life is a journey that you have to walk on your own. Yea, it is a long lonely journey....

2006-03-24T18:51:00.000+08:00

It is pretty amazing how Singapore's MP work. Have you ever wondered if those letter that your parents send or e-mail to those MP really work. The answer is YES. They do bother to open their mailboxes daily and glimpse through tons of e-mail flooding their account. This simply goes out to say that to an extent the concern that they show to common citizens like us. And somehow, I do feel important as a Singaporean.

Well, surprisingly, I am full of praises for them this time. [:

2006-03-19T15:10:00.000+08:00

Block test week. I am darn bored mugging away.

An empty nutshell swimming against the torrents to accomplish something that she does not know the outcome.

2006-02-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I really wonder how human beings work.

I was forced to overcome my grief and being pushed to move on with the flow of the current. I was forced to tell everyone that I am alright, but inside me, it is another story.

I have witnessed people obsessed with money till it mutes their senses. They simply go against their conscious and forget about the kindness prevalent in every human being's soul. I suspect that their heart have been devoured by a wild beast.

These few days I have seen enough of the evil sides of human beings. I am disgusted and it is revolting.

2006-02-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes,it is really frightening to realise how short life can be. If we were to procrastinate a little, waste our time on not fufiling events, at the very last moment when we suck in our last breathe what will we have accomplished?

Hurt by the fragile moments in life. I am not strong enough I guess.

2006-02-21T11:38:00.000+08:00

-gone with the wind-

Just as the blaze of fire sets the paper to fire, ashes turn to dust and in a blink of an eye, all is gone.

2006-02-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

Romance and all it's strategy
leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much a
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

2006-02-01T23:27:00.000+08:00

The wilting flower is slowly withering away. The petals are all crinkled and dried up while the flower struggles to take in the next breathe of fresh air. As each day passes, its energy appears to be sapped up leaving behind the empty nutshell.

Life so short, but how much have we been thoroughly enjoying it? I am lucky to be who I am. I love who I am but do you?