Thursday, April 28, 2005

Wish list:

1. Somebody to piggy back me to school everyday. I am walking in pain man.
2. My ankles to heal quickly.
3. If it doesn't heal, I'll like some money to amputate it off and fix it with some plastic legs.

Posted by jieyi at 9:59 PM

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

My leg hurts and my phone has been so quiet nowadays. I have been messaging lesser because some people do not want to reply and also everybody seems so busy nowadays to be bothered about anything more than their current circle of affairs. I guess this is what JC life is all about since we have barely 1 year and 6 months more to go before we take A levels and I can't wait for everything to be over. *striking off the days to leaving that JC..*

It's nice to be strong, to appear strong in front of people. Yet when you are by yourself, it feels tiring to be strong. When you look around for someone to be there for you, there isn't anyone anymore. -sigh- What is left are those photos that we took for the last 3 months...

Posted by jieyi at 10:11 PM

Sunday, April 24, 2005

I have realised that recently, my essays recently have been centred around TK and TJ days. Just wrote an essay about it titled: 思念 literally meaning missing. In fact, I believe it was one of the easiest essays that I had ever written. I completed it in less than an hours time, with tears and emotions choking right up to my eyes.

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear
Hoobastank- The Reason

Who will be the one who will catch all my tears?

Posted by jieyi at 6:58 PM

Friday, April 22, 2005

Insprirational Quote: "Courage is the power to let go of the familiar"

Sometimes the courage to do things did not come about because you want to do it, but the environment is the one that forces you to pick up this courage. Because even if you do not, life still goes on.

To Zhi YonG: This quote is for you too!! Hope you will get into the SC [:

Posted by jieyi at 12:53 PM

Thursday, April 21, 2005

It's a wonder how observant people can get.

I have stuck a few photos of the photos that we took in TJ in my file. Today my NY friend was looking through it during BORING maths tutorials. She suddenly pointed to one of the photo (* Note: The picture is the one that is on my friendster account's primary photo. The one that I took with Amanda) and said,
"Hmmm...How come do you look so different?"
"Well, I did not change that much since like 3 months ago.."
"You just look different. How should I say-You look happier in the photo..."

Yeah right man, even a friend I made for barely a month could spot the difference. I did not know my emotions are written all over my face.

Posted by jieyi at 8:31 PM

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

It has been a long time since I wrote anything really political already!! So here goes:

The government decision of setting up 2 casinos really gave me a big shock. Singapore has finally decided to dabble in the 'unhealthy' or maybe 'undesirable' areas of the economy that many other countries like Malaysia and USA have exploited. From a very objective point of view, Singapore will gain huge revenue from these 2 'gold-mines'.

But from another point of view, this major decision just goes out to show how desperate our government is towards our ailing tourism industry and the slow growth in the economy compared regionally. PM Lee has also swore to take up the full responsibility and consequences of this huge project. See the severity?

This is a big stake that the Singapore government has decided to invest in for the next 4 years. Yet Singaporeans mostly are not responding to this decision. In fact Singaporeans belong to the 'yes-men' group, agreeing to whatever the government says or we belong to the I-can't-be-bothered group, where they live in their own world, not bothering about national affairs.

Come on!! We are not even given the rights to vote for such a major issue!! We are Singaporeans, SO we deserve a right to decide such stuff too!!

Heh, it feels nice to be able to vent out such nonsense over the net. Just went to see the sin seh and going for another crappy day in school again.

Posted by jieyi at 12:29 AM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Damn it. Why did I have to sprain my ankle at this point in time-.- Never mind, I mean it will be ok after sometime.

Oh man, do not be so sad, I mean looking at you all being so upset, it makes me feel down too. It is alright not to win at times, well, who says that you must win in order to be the best? You are the best already. Better take care of yourself!!

4/2 dinner, something worth anticipating for for weeks when your life here happens to be described using only a word-DULL. When your life is filled with strangers, you will like to meet some of the old familiar faces, return back to your comfort zone.

Dreams, what are dreams? Are dreams meant to be pursued or are dreams stuff that will never be actualised because it exists only in dreamland? The most dissapointing thing that can happen to you is when you try so hard to follow your dreams but you end up falling hard on the ground, realising that you are the only one there.

Posted by jieyi at 9:08 AM

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Oh yeah, changed my template successfully this time. I have decided not to use black background, because I want something new to start my new phase of my schooling life. No more depressing entries, no more crying, no more sadness, just looking ahead of everything and think of everyone in my dreams.

TJ sports meet was fantastic!! Please read XinYi's and MS blog entries for more intereting details. But to sum it all up, I really enjoyed myself and was so touched that you all were there. Even though people were so sianified and sick during the whole thing, but I guess the dinner was better.

All those stupid jokes about everything
The loud screams and laughter all of us made
Becoming the centre of attraction in Macs unknowingly

Reminds me of our old TK days. Haha... To think of it, I was laughing so hard at the errotic Maths lecturer and the whole LT turned to look at me like a freak.

I'm tied by all the invisible rules and regulations set by people. I want to break these strings but who's going to help me?

Posted by jieyi at 4:51 PM

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Yay, more mugging to do.
Day in and out I mug.
I love mugging.

-bleargh-

Tell me why aren't you all tired of what is going on around you.
I am sick of things.
I am sick of copycats that buzz around me non-stop.
I am sick of the freaking PE teachers ranting at us every morning because we are not in the 'proper' PE attire, without NY shorts and Black orientation T-shirt. Come on, we are living in the 21st century where rules are set by the ones who think that we will abide to it and not that you make us abide to the rules. I rule!

Am I happy now? Maybe, maybe not. But on my face, I will always appear happy, that is what everyone says. Maybe I want to make myself happy by looking happy.

Posted by jieyi at 11:28 PM

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I dreamt of you all again. I thought of the times we had in 4/2 classroom, how we were all sleeping through Mrs Lopez lessons, the times when we somehow always meet at TJ's canteen tables. The days when I meet all of you everyday, the crap that we did and the sounds of laughter ringing into my ears. Yet whenever I woke up, I found myself back -here. Yeah man..

I just back to my old self, laughing and jumping about with my psychotic look. However, in my dreams you all always have to be there, you guys are just always there especially you.

It's been a week and 2 days since I last saw you all. It is an unconscious thing for me to keep thinking about it, it's just that it is really painful when overnight all those people that you have got used to seeing for the past few years and months just suddenly dissapear. I only recognise one out of the thousands in the school and it really feels like you are walking yourself on Orchard Road.

Posted by jieyi at 5:55 PM

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

There is just this emptiness in my inner self now. I can walk along the streets, and suddenly feel so empty inside. On the facade, I appear to be myself, yet somewhere inside, I do not even know who I am nowadays. It feels terrible, like all of a sudden, after living for 17 years, you feel that you do not even know who you are. I guess it must be because my self worth is somehow not recognised in NY. I am nobody there and I am feeling tired already when the whole thing is just beginning.

[Somehow when I need you, you are always not there but I understand]

I must stop being so negative!! I bet everybody is so sick of seeing me write about the same stuff, heh.

I LOVE NY!!!! I LOVE NY!!!...like real

Posted by jieyi at 10:01 PM

Monday, April 04, 2005

O night pictures are up:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2128565568

How is my day at NY: -
Interesting?: No
Fun?: No
Did anything?: Attend lectures, talked to TJ reject friends and WanJie, stoned, slack, thought more stuff about TJ
When did you end today?:10.10am
So what did you do today?:
Went for 3 lectures, slacked around at grandstand with WanJie while waiting for the rain to subside.
Went MJ and talked rubbishy stuff with Li Huan, Wee and Cherlyn.
Ate Ben and Jerry's ice-cream and did a little Econs

-This is my interesting life, my friends-

Posted by jieyi at 10:38 PM

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Crap, blogspot had to delete away my super long entry that I have just typed. CRAP!

I do not know what to say now. I have to confess that things have just not been going my way and I am getting really irritated by it. But on top of all my irritation, I have to say I feel helpless. It is the first time in my life that I feel that I cannot do anything to change my situation. I have to change to fit into the situation now.

Everything just poured out on O night itself. I must say I feel rather embarrassed after that because I do sound very bitter about everything that happened. I shouted out so many things that I guess most people will not say. But my suppressed emotions for the past week were just triggered off by the Vitamin C song graduation. I cried more than I had ever done for the past 10 years because nobody can help me anymore. Its me, me and me again who have to do this all by myself.

Heh, and everybody end up crying with me. Was really touched by everyone who accompanied me that night. I finally felt that I am back to where I am supposed to be. But I know that everything ended on April's Fool, because the past 3 months in TJ was just a cruel, long April's Fool joke that I have to accept. I have to bear the consequences of my choice now and it is time.

For those who want to know what do I think of NY, please look out here.
The past week at NY nothing exciting really happened. People whom I do not know just passes me everday, times slips past rather quickly with lectures. For those first intakers who stayed in any JC, don't you just hate those second intakers.

Well, the second intakers like me are currently being 'outcasted' I guess. Yes, I know, give them some time to accept us, I know that you all will say that. So do not bother to tell me to try to adapt into the school so quickly, because the first intakers of my class will have get to accept us first.

Saturday was fantastic. Thank you everyone for helping me celebrate my birthday, I love you all so much, so much that I feel so lonely now.

Nonetheless, I love you all! Muacks*
Thank you...Hu Shing, Simeng, Sybil, Keow, XinYi,MS, Cherlyn, Hui Yi, Evelyn, Vita, WanJie, Neha, Zhi Yong, Kah Sing and Mathias.

Thank you all those who messaged me, thank you Li Huan for calling me, thank you xiu for always encouraging me, thank you sam for you entry.

I think my thank you list can go on forever as usual, and lastly to manda, thank you for always listening to me and being there[:

[I just do not want to let go of your hands, let me hold on to it forever, but I know I cannot.]